DAY 13: B O O M!!!!!!!

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Today was pretty dog-gone-great! I woke up in a good mood and enjoyed time at the office with my co-workers and our alumni. I have been shocked the last couple of days because of the VERY limited amount of diet Pepsi/Coke I have had, (or more remarkably), even wanted. I've now been in a grocery story; a gas station: a drug store and my office without eating ANY junk....and YES there have been opportunities! I even went with my husband and friends to the iPic Theater in Boca Raton @ Mizner Park and ONLY had the 3 small Angus Burger sliders! I did not have a soda, french fries OR dessert. Let me say now, "I have ALWAYS done bad at the movies... ALWAYS!" Obviously something has changed - right?

There is only ONE primary explanation I can arrive at for this "out of the blue" change in desire that I was experiencing, and that is the Incomprehensible One! A couple of weeks ago I had an experience in my room one day after work. It did not so much arise due to weight or food issues, rather a deep internal struggle I was having - wrestling, (if you will), with hanging on to angers and fears in my life. I don't know if you know the kind...they're like flypaper - you try to get rid of it, and it just sticks to another part of you. I had been staying in that for quite a while and of course, you can not hang on to "self-driven" feelings AND cling selflessly to God at the same time - hence the "misery". I find there is no more miserable state, than feeling separated from the greatest love I've ever known. So that day I just let go and wept with God, giving Him all the things that I clung to...all the things that are His to have. From that day, (very gradually), I found myself feeling calmer and incredibly, desiring "unhealthy" things less.

So anywhoooo...
On the way home it was really rainy - not a hard rain, just a steady light rain with ominous cloud cover. I got home however, and my husband had the bikes ready, because we had determined earlier that we were going riding - NO MATTER WHAT!

I got in my riding clothes on, we loaded up and hit the road. I have to say that the rain and cool air felt really good. We got over to the park and about 2 miles, when it happened: Flash ----------------- B O O M!!!!!..and with that, we high tailed it on home! Larry Wayne dried the bikes...( I just love him to pieces!)

I came walking in the door and who do you think was waiting for me? Why my babies' Zeke and Pickles! BOY were they hungry!

 I fed them dinner and Larry took them out. Following that we finally sat down to have our DELICIOUS salads! I had my special "Fruity Salad"

...and I made Larry his special Tuna Salad...but of course...Zeke gave his "death stare" throughout the meal -- always thinks it will work! ...CRAZY dog! 

Tomorrow Larry Wayne is going out of town and I will face my historically weakest time for "unhealthy living"...but you know what? I believe this time it is going to be different and successful!

DAY 11 - KICKIN' BUTT AND TAKIN' NAMES!

What a FABULOUS day this has been. It was a great at work and I made a really delicious salad for lunch: Fruity Nut Feta Salad! Mmmmmm!!!

I also got to do one of my favorite meetings called: "Why Should I Care" - with our residents. When that was over, I came home and Larry Wayne had our bikes ready to go! We decided that today would be a long bike ride day and so hopped on and took off. I was a little nervous because of yesterday's experience, but soon began to sweat and realized all was good. 

We ended up riding 13.13 miles in 1hr 10min! It was REALLY great!

...I DO know that I've yet to do the "before" photo...what can I say...I'm just not ready to post that one yet. Perhaps if I quit saying that I'm going to...then it will happen! Oh!!! I also have to share that something incredible happened today - I only had ONE diet Pepsi! I mean that is like so totally AMAZEBALLS! (haha! - I was hoping I could fit that in somewhere!) The last few days I've eaten better each day - much more "clean eating" vs the large amount of processed foods. I think it is making a difference in how I'm feeling. 

This is a short one today - but before I end, I thought I would share something pretty cool for anyone else that would like some simple exercises to help with that dreaded floppiness under the ol' biceps!  http://www.buzzfeed.com/melissaharrison/three-minute-workouts-for-your-arms#.mwGzKVz60

One last thing I want to share is how very thankful I am for my dear neighbors who gave me this beautiful gift that I'm going to put in my office, so I will be inspired by it everyday! "Why did they give me a gift?" you might ask...just because they are sweet friends. Truly I am blessed!

Day 10 - BAMBOOZLED!

 Today I was really excited to get home and ride my bike with my husband. On the way home my head started hurting and initially I was going to cave and not ride. Then I thought to myself, "Ok, there is ALWAYS going to be an excuse! Just get up and GO....and so I did. Larry and I aired up our tires and hit the road. It has been an EXTREMELY hot day here in South Florida and we headed out while the temperatures and the sun were still very strong. I say this because about 3 miles into riding I knew something was wrong. It started with feeling SUPER emotional (for like no reason at all)...the next thing that happened was that I became aware that my body was totally dry, when I should have been good and sweaty. The next thing was that I found myself feeling extremely fatigued. We stopped a few times and drank water, but it quickly went back to the same. I told my husband at 5 miles that we needed to go home. By the time we reached the entrance to our neighborhood I had chill bumps all over me, which I knew was not a good thing. Thankfully, 7 miles total, we made it home and I got in a cold shower. I felt totally bamboozled, because  this was really no different than any other day and I was really pumped to go for a super long ride. I almost never was able to sweat for most of my life and so I avoided getting in situations where I could get to hot, but after we started riding, I began REALLY sweating good...until today. I am peri-menopausal and have over the last couple of months been having INCREDIBLE hot flashes day and night, so I'm not sure if this has anything to do with what happened today. So on the one hand, it kind of scared me having that happen, while on the other hand I'm very thankful that nothing bad happened today AND I'm glad that we still went the distance we did AND....I didn't let an excuse keep me from getting on my bike!

This is a cool idea I found on Pintrest to make exercise different everyday. Each stick is a different exercise and repetition and each day (throughout the day even) one or more can be drawn and just do what it says. I'm thinking of variations I can use...like cycling sticks...DVD workout sticks...and then basic exercise sticks to draw from. This is SO my next Michael's project!! 

Day 8 -- AWESOME DAY!!

Today was an awesome day! It began with a really WONDERFUL service at my church (South Palm Community Church), where our pastor (Stan Coleman) began a new series called: Amazing Grace and it was right on time! Then we came home and I headed out to our local Farmer's Market to pick up produce and I got a lot of good things. Sadly I didn't make it to my car before the bottom fell out of the storm clouds that were moving in.

I got a LOT of good veggies and fruits that I brought home and washed. I wish I had taken a pic of them.) They are always SO beautiful right after I clean them! Due to the heavy rain, I didn't get to go cycling today - (I'm going to have to be better prepared with "workout back up plans" for sure) We headed out a few hours later to go back to church for a "Night of Worship" and Communion. It was a really great time and very much got me back centered where I needed to be.

Upon coming home I got my "smoothie packets" ready in the freezer. (I have about 2 weeks worth at a time). I generally put Kale, Carrots, Cucumbers, Mint, Bananas, Strawberries, Grapes, Peaches and Apples - divided up in the bags and keep the in the freezer. This way it's much easier in the mornings to make a smoothie to have on the way to work. 

Did I happen to mention how MUCH I LOVE my Ninja? It's TRULY even more awesome than the infomercial says it is!

So I know I said I was going to put my "BEFORE" pic up today...but I just didn't get it made. I will for sure do it either tomorrow or Tuesday (I have a meeting that runs late tomorrow). I have spent the last day or so getting my FitBit set up and account done - it is located on my blog by my YouTube, Instagram, Pintrest, etc.... Also getting "My Fitness Pal" account set up with a badge on this blog by my Facebook badge. 

I  am happy to say that I'm really grateful for my husband tonight: We had gone to Publix to pick up some salad dressings and I grabbed some "small cup" ice creams. He didn't get any, and of course this helped me remember what my goal is, soooooo...I put it back and had a homemade banana smoothie instead! Thanks honey!!

DAY 7 -- Was a WINNER!!

Today was SUCH a great day! It started off at my work (The Watershed Addiction Treatment Programs)...where I got to see several of our Alumni celebrating periods of sobriety. From there I went to talk to some of the patient's families - which I always enjoy. (I'm happy to say that I did not partake in the chips, cookies or bagels).It has been overcast most of the day and we have been soaked in (much needed) rainy weather this weekend. 

It has interfered until today with cycling...but as it began raining I just decided to quit being a sissy and instead be a committed BADASS - and so we headed out into the rain and road 8 miles in 39 min! (Which wasn't to shabby with the wind in our face much of the ride.) It felt SO good!! 

We would have perhaps rode a bit more, but the siren went off, (at the golf course by our house), for lightning and we hightailed it home. After we got back I checked on my husbands AMAZING roast he made us for dinner in the crockpot. Our puppies, Zeke and Pickles, sure did want some!

"That Larry Wayne is one AU-some guy!"

Now we have settled in to watch "State of Emergency" - Can't go wrong w a Zombie movie!

PS... I will post my "Before" Photo tomorrow....

Day 6 --- SEVEN Feels Like a Winner!

Alright - I said that this was going to be an honest blog to document my journey - with my goals laid out and the ever so strong possibility of bumps in the road due to my notorious history of faltering in these particular endeavors.

Just to give a little insight to the "Jeckle and Hyde" effect -- back when I used to smoke, I had quit MANY times. I was a "sneak cheat" and this always kept me from "staying quit". For example: I once decided to smoke after having been quit almost 8 weeks. I was in my own apartment, yet went into my bathroom, closed the door, turned on the exhaust fan, stood on the toilet...and "snuck a smoke". Embarrassing but true.

So in the brief 5 days since I began writing this blog, I've not quite had the proverbial "rubber hitting the road" happen yet and I HAVE to confess just a few things right now, as tomorrow will be another day for improvement. I have had 2 opportunities to have cycled and 1 to exercise at home - (that would have been today) - and I found "reasons" not to. Not only that, but two of my favorite "yummies" came across my path today...and I caved: Sweet Roll this morning   and Pecan Pie tonight. UGH!  

Ok...confession over. Oddly, where I would usually be beating myself up and thinking about ending this blog because it is starting off in such a " non fabulous way"...I actually feel excited and motivated! I'm PUMPED baby - tomorrow IT IS ON!

Let me share a positive awesomeness -- my dear husband Larry Wayne went out on the high seas of the Atlantic today with his friend Darryl. Why he caught us dinner - cooked it up - and even had enough for friends! I sure do love him!

  

Oh! One more thing....I've not done my "before" pic...THAT has been quite intentional. Ok..Ok...one more confession -- I LOVE taking my own selfies -- always from the "right angle" if you know what I mean. I realize that to be authentic...I'm going to have to do a non-angled picture and have flatly chickened out. TOMORROW is the day!

Day 4 - OFF TO A SLOW START!

So today my stomach issue hasn't gone and to add to it I had a migraine. :( Did I mention that migraines are a part of my life on a fairly regular basis? HATE THEM! Needless to say, arriving home I did not hop on my bike, rather hopped in the bed with a heating pad in the dark, waiting for it to pass. UGH! Now on the up side - I have been able to get more on my blog here: My YouTube; My Pinterest; My Facebook Badge; and my Written/Audio Blog that I write based on recovery and personal growth topics (with good humor). I've come to realize that a "daily" blog post is perhaps a bit much....soooooo...I will likely be changing to  2-3 times a week. I'm really excited about learning how to do this and I just so hope that in the course of this journey, it might be an inspiration to someone and perhaps even make some new friends in this process!

Day 3 - YUCK DAY

Today started last night with some kind of stomach bug - I will spare the details as I'm sure we've all been there. I continue to try and figure out the whole "Blogspot" thing and am making some headway. Truly there aren't many things more painful than a "non-tech" person such as myself trying to understand this stuff! Sitting at home alone is the second most miserable experience because it allows to much time for "thinking" which reminds me of just how little power I have to help (aka - fix) friends and family or other things beyond my control. 

So on the one hand today was pretty awful physically, etc... But it was also good, because I remembered that the MOST important and BEST thing I can ever do for anyone, is to give it to God. My food intake wasn't terrible due to the aforementioned and a limited appetite. 

Oh - one more unhealthy habit I should probably fess up to right now...I have a serious problem with Diet Pepsi -- which I hope to overcome through this process as well👍

So new plan -- cycling on Wednesday!

Day 2: Emotional Temptation

Today was pretty tough - as it was the last  of our 6 days with my step daughters, for what is normally a month long visit. (We live in different states) On the good side, we quite literally crammed a month's worth of fun into 6 days. On the down side, it was an especially difficult this visit for a few reasons: (1) Our oldest is heading to college in August, so that brings it's own realities; (2) Our youngest will be a senior next year, so likely there will be no more "long" summer visits; (3) Having only 6 days, was just tough - we love them dearly and live for the time that they are with us. I'm writing about this because I have a nasty habit, (that I often make light of), but is none the less - true: When I am sad, I tend to go into "I DON'T CARE" brain. This is when, (regardless of my desire to be healthy), I will spontaneously disregard it ALL for junk food!

I want to say that I am not doing this blog to sound like I "have it together" or to "toe the goal line"  - as I would love to be able to do. I'm doing this because I KNOW that I will falter...and what's more...I know I'm not the only one. I think that only in being authentic, can I truly find the #success I desire AND that in doing so, I might offer some degree of inspiration and hope to others like myself. I am happy to say that though I didn't do great today, I did NOT go from the airport to home and shovel junk food in my face...so I am chalking it up to a success! Instead I allowed myself to be in the moment and move from the point of feeling sad and frustrated, to instead focusing on the good about our time spent together and remembering that God is in control of all the rest. 

So on that note - tomorrow I begin cycling with my best friend in the whole wide world - Larry Wayne Balko!

Day 1 - Introduction - Getting Started

So here I go -- Day 1 of what I suspect will be an interesting journey. Briefly... my history with food has been in a state an on-going change most of my life. I was actually an anorexic from 15 until about 35, at which point I had completed a good deal of therapy, met my husband and and as I became free to eat, realized how MUCH I loved food and it's many wonderful flavores! I spent the next ten years gaining weight at a slow steady pace...that changed into a rapid one, as I was eating a lot of my two favorite food groups - breads and sweets. (Let me clarify...if no other food was left on the planet but those two groups - or even just one of them...I would be FINE!) Along with the poor diet, I also drifted into a state of very little exercise, if any - unless you count the two button method: the remote and the recliner. 

As of today I am at my heaviest weight, largest size and poorest fitness in my life. I came to realize that my MANY diet attempts were doomed to failure because they were all quick fixes that missed the mark of what I need most - healthy living. I really had no idea what healthy eating or what healthy living was. So I began reading, planning and even invested in bicycles with my husband and began cycling together everyday. About 3 weeks though, I went over the handle bars! That took about a month to heal from and in that month all progress made was lost. 

I was lying in bed about a week ago and told my husband "I can't believe how close I am to 50, it just doesn't feel like that's my age." I had a moment where I felt like my time had passed to becoming truly healthy. In all honesty, at that moment I felt pretty low - as if reaching this age would hold me back or meant it was "too late to try". Shortly after though, I thought "That's not right! I have 14 months to get fit and by gosh I'm GOING to do it!"

Tomorrow begins my journey!

<-Me & my family😀