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Monday, August 10, 2015

DAY 20 - REMEMBERING I CAN'T CONTROL IT ALL!






Well it has been a busy couple of days since I last posted. Through my church, (South Palm Community Church), I have a growth group called the Tall Tale Teller's Storytelling Group - which is a LOT of fun! We've had a couple bumps over the last 6 or 7 weeks, where we've had to cancel, so it's been a bit of a challenge figuring out how to combine our lessons and activities so that we covered everything in a fun way - but also be completed in the time frame we had established. I had procrastinated and so was rushing, (of course), to get it done! HA! (Story of my life!) Good news is - I got it done and we had WONDERFUL time! The attendees in my group range in age from 9 to 40+, and each are SO talented! There were a lot of laughs tonight and it was actually just the right medicine for today!



I do want to share a quick and easy recipe for a healthy snack! I know I said I was going to post my Fruity Salad, but I will save that for next time. This is my Basil Feta Salsa! To make it you only need: Feta Cheese (crumbled); Scallions - Tomatoes and Cucumbers (chopped); Fresh Basil Leaves (chopped) and a Balsamic Vinaigrette. Mix it all up (using the amount of each that you want) and chill. When ready, they are good with Sea Salt Peta Chips! "Good enough you'll want to smack yo' mama!" (NOTE: If you don't know what that means...it isn't literal! ha! It means it's REALLY good!

Just in case I've not introduced him yet - THIS is my dad, (in the orange shirt). He is SUCH an amazing person and has done SO much to inspire and offer direction in my life. He has been the one who showed me the love and faithfulness of God for as long as i can remember. Being in recovery and working in addiction treatment as long as I have, I've known many many people who were affected negatively by their fathers - which made me realize all the more, just how VERY blessed I've been to have someone who's always loved me so unconditionally - especially when I was truly so difficult to love. The reason he gave for this? "Because I am his". 


My dad constantly reminded me that he loved me with all of his heart, but always said that it was NOTHING compared to how much God loved me by giving His son...OR how much Jesus loved me, in that He gave everything He had for me. The reason he gave for this? "Because I am His". Had I not had him reminding me of this, I don't know that I would have ever come back from addiction. To say my life in early recovery was filled with poor decisions, would be putting it mildly. It was in his reminders that I was able to believe that my relationship with God had ZERO to do with my "performance." It was, (in fact), that belief that later became a knowledge of that truth...now almost 27 years later. My dad is in his late 70's now and continues to love hiking, (He hiked the Appalachian Trail from Georgia to Maine when he was 60yo - straight through for about 6 months!) I pray that I would be even half the kind of person that he is. I love you daddy! I will post about my mom next time! (No worries mom - YOU are next!)


I've had some SUPER cycling days - yesterday was especially good. My husband gets to laughing at me though. I have to be honest here - It's not like I'm some "power cyclist" -- haha -- far from it! About 5-6 miles of the almost 11 miles, I am VERY loud! What do I mean? Well, at certain points I'm just a grunting, choking and gasping for air at certain points! My husband on the other hand, seems relatively un-phased OR winded! haha! He is pretty kind about it, but I can tell that he thinks it is funny. I don't care though - I WILL get better the more I do it! My husband is WAY more fit than I  and never smoked. My lungs are SO much better than they once were - but they need exercise to! (I smoked for 25 years - much of it 2 packs a day and was an asthmatic) I've been free of smoking for about 16 years now w/ almost non-existent asthma! THANK YOU GOD!


So this brings me to the end of my post tonight, AND the reason for my title. I have a REALLY bad history of "quitting" when it comes to my health. Not quitting things like: junk food - laziness - or procrastinating. I mean quitting things like: eating healthy - exercising - and pushing though! It is probably one of the top things I hate most, yet do most. So today was tough, with multiple notices of some of our alumni having died - one only 15 minutes prior to a family member of his being spoken to. (It is  fact of life when it comes to addiction - but so many in one day, and when many of them are young - it is just sad.) I also had my annual check up today was told that I'm going to have to get things looked at a bit closer. Not terrible news, but certainly enough to qualify as one of those "emotional triggers" that would generally throw me in a tailspin of rationalizing my way into sitting on my rear end and eating a pint of mint chocolate ice cream! 

The reality is that I CAN do many things, but I can't do EVERYTHING. I CAN control all sorts of things, but I can't control it ALL. I am at best finite - limited in what I can do. I am thankful today for my God, Who is infinite - limitless in all that He can do and I am exceptionally thankful for this today!

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